How to hire a contractor

Simply follow these steps and any project will be done before you know it.

  1. Call a contractor
  2. Explain the job that needs to be done
  3. Be prepared to be yelled at because the job is too small / too big / otherwise unacceptable
  4. Once the job has been approved take a holiday and stay at home between next Tuesday and November in order to wait for the contractor
  5. Once your patience runs out call the contractor again
  6. Explain the job one more time
  7. Make sure that this time he writes down your address and telephone number
  8. Repeat steps 4 to 8 as applicable
  9. Once the work is finished check the results
  10. Hire another contractor to fix the mess that the first one has made